A Reflection on Being Butt-hurt.

Hey folks! I hope you’re having a wonderful weekend so far!

As a lil’ lady who is continuously learning about herself, it’s extremely hard to discuss topics that I’m still, well, learning about! It’s soul- baring, and I feel all vulnerable discussing it. I’d like to think I’m self aware, or at least know my own strengths and weaknesses in every day terms, but in a perspective concerning relationships- it’s still something that is developing all the time.

I pride myself on my independence, and being comfortable in my own skin. Which is very true indeed! As some of you know, I was a bundle of nerves and my anxiety was at it’s highest in college years. In other articles/posts, I have stated that it affected my Screen Shot 2016-04-17 at 14.56.11relationships, which it definitely did. I look back at that time now, and think how much of a different person I am now. I’m unashamed of my easy going attitude towards everything, I’m confident and chilled out in a mushy-cool combination (or at least I’d like to think so!), I go with the flow- if a guy comes along that I really like, sweet! If not, that’s cool too- because what will happen, will happen ❤ However it has been a slight downfall in relationships where my kindness/ easy going attitude has been taken for granted, or really taken advantage of. And that’s my reflection. It aint cool. It’s not 100% ‘rejection’, its someone manipulating the good within you for selfish reasons. I was butt hurt, and it succkkkkeedd. It hurt my lil’ soul.

Everyone has a fear of rejection/ feelings not returned, but it’s how you deal with it that determines the overall outcome. Learn from it, grow- but also let yourself feel! This has been on my mind from the experience. When someone betrays your trust, or plays on your personality, it flippin sucks. It sucks big time, no matter the circumstance. It’s alright to rationalise an experience by saying ‘some people are not meant to be in your life’ and ‘hurt people, hurt people’ (which are all very true sayings), you have to let yourself feel hurt. This, in my very personal experience, is something I’ve been working on. It feels uncomfortable and has a weird feeling in your stomach, but it’s so important to experience it (Psychologies has a great article about coming back from rejection here). It’s left me a little guarded as a person lately, but I’m taking it within my stride. We’re not all perfect people, it’s taken me a while to admit this butt-hurt. I’m still rolling with the punches and slaying my way through each week the best I can!

Remember, you’re growing as a human being every day. Every day. Sometimes, things don’t go the way you planned, and you have to be very mindful of your actions and reactions. Be gentle, be kind, be yourself. As much as being butt-hurt sucks, don’t react with anger or hate. Take a step back and remember your self worth, and treat the situation with as much goodness as you can. But also stand up for yourself too! ❤ You will come out of a bad experience with more perspective, ready to go with the flow of the world that awaits!

Anyway sweetpeas, I will leave it there ❤ sending all my love to you all!

 

 

 

 

 

Self Awareness & Development

Hey y’all. Hope you’re enjoying your weekend so far! I wanted to share with you my thoughts on self awareness, as I think it’s very important to everyones wellbeing. We studied ‘the self’ quite extensively in my Counselling degree; and self development is atumblr_n52j4gnAML1r5gmiko1_500 major learning journey. Not just for those wishing to become helpers, counsellors or therapists- but for any beautiful being in this world. You wanna know more about yourself? Well here’s a little how-to and a bit of know-how, from my tiny point of view. (If this triggers anything for you, or you find this a little daunting at all, please go to my page of helplines who are there to talk whenever you wish) ❤

“Self-awareness is a continuing process of improvement, not arriving at a given state of awareness.”

This quote is sooooo important. Many folk who are trying to learn about themselves more, or reach this ‘enlightenment’ will find that they will never obtain this state of being. It is a continuous and ever evolving process. How cool is that though!? That we are continuously evolving as human beings, growing and developing! However, when people think of ‘self awareness’ this misconception is where folk go wrong. Because it’s not about achieving, it’s all about the process. It shouldn’t be rushed or forced, but a cool part of being you. Enjoy what’s going on! Learn and growwww. It may feel weird, but it’s rad to know more about who you are. From the weird and quirky, to the assertive and sweet. There is no wrong answer, because we are who we are. Rock it!

Although we feel most at risk when we contemplate baring our soul to others, it is, paradoxically, from the genuine responses of others that we stand to learn something about ourselves.

We have to feel safe when we expose ourselves for all we are. Fears, dreams, values, attitudes, even our sexuality. Have you ever had it where someone has pointed out a mannerism, flaw or a positive thing about you- that you didn’t really notice about yourself? I remember something as small as someone pointing out I use my hands a lot when I talk to or when I’m in conversation. This is a form of self-awareness, and people around you can help you there. I must reiterate, that we need to feel safe and trust those around us, feel mega comfortable. We don’t have to do self-exploration with others, in small groups or in a pair- we can do this by ourselves too. Write some things down. We have to be honest with ourselves. Be kind to yourself first my dear!! ❤262005_947454b3639547eda1d2775e6a535fdb

Ask yourself some questions first. It can be a little scary or even daunting to ask yourself some questions, but do not rush. A greater understanding of yourself is a wonderful thing ❤  for examplleeee

  • Are you satisfied with being who you are?
  • Are you comfortable with the age you are now?
  • What are your fundamental beliefs? How did you acquire them?
  • What life experiences are significant for you and why?

Be gentle with yourself, and take care ❤

Self Love

It’s so much easier to love other people, than to love ourselves. It sucks, but it’s true. Unconditional love is a complete and whole love without limitations. Accepting ourselves is so important, and unconditional love comes from within, before we can completely and  unconditionally love others. Go with your gut, trust yourself and accept all of the things that make up who you are as a person (that’s your bad habits and flaws too!). Remember, your body is a beautiful thing. It heals you without any conscious thought. You’re here breathing, and moving your eyes along the screen. Your body is your temple, and it’s worshipping you every day!Screen Shot 2016-03-07 at 12.47.51.png

Feeling comfortable in your own skin is difficult, but important to your wellness. We always pick out our flaws as a person, then cannot understand why others do not see them as strongly as we do, if at all. For example, If I’m worried about my skin, or a bad habit I have- my friends seem baffled. I think a lovely way to the journey of self love is the saying ‘treat yourself how you would treat your best friend’. We all have days where we’re not so confident in ourselves, and feel uncomfortable in our bodies. It’s ok. Who is 100% happy with themselves all of the time? No one. Treat yourself with kindness, and the world will bring it back to you in abundance. Be gentle, you’re doing so well already ❤

We need to feel secure in ourselves, so it’s that little bit easier to not rely on others for happiness. If we constantly look to others for acceptance, how will we truly learn to love ourselves? We need to seek it within, so loving becomes such a wonderful and rad thing.

Be gentle with yourself, you ❤

Dear, You.

You have such a beautiful story ahead of you. There is so much more to experience and love. Treat yourself kindly, and the world will bring love to you in abundance. I want it to shower over you like all the stars around our planet swirls throughout your body and into your very soul- because feeling good and beautiful within is something you truly deserve. Whether it be you, me, the people you love, the people you dislike, the folk you see in the street or on the tv, we all live most of our lives inside our own heads. We can become our own foes, and struggle with our thoughts in such despair, that we can see nothing but the world shrinking away.

Let’s make sure that our minds are nice places to be.

We weren’t born with a purpose of causing trouble, disliking ourselves and limiting our own potential. We are wondrous beings made of millions of stars, particles, of blood and bone. We all have dark and light within us, it is how we deal with our experiences that define us and how we see the world around us. We gotta allow ourselves to feel everything we feel; whether it be sadness, happiness, love, guilt, fear or anger. Harness your power within to manipulate how you experience it. You have the power within you to create such a beautiful life. A beautiful story. What we think, how we react- is what we ultimately become. Your discontent and frustrations are entirely your own creations. We all harness our thoughts in such ways, that they can either become exceedingly good, or downright bad. What a power you hold!! That if you can believe, and be kind to yourself- that your world will evolve into such a wonderful thing. That is the true beauty within us.

You have the power inside yourself, despite your experiences or background, to make your world a joyful and irrevocably happy one. That despite your tribulations, you are the ruler of your own kingdom. Cherish that. Feel that. Make the world inside you bursting with love and joy, that the world around you reflects that.

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Rad Lessons Learned (so far)

Hello lovely followers, hope you are well! I thought I’d do a cool little post on reflections and (if I can) give you insight into some advice or lessons I have learned over the course of my experiences. I can pinpoint every single lesson and whatwpid-img_20150720_122637.jpg each meant to me at the time. I’d go far as to say the lessons I have learned are pivotal in the experiences I have now!

  1. Trust your gut. Now this one for me is ridiculously accurate. My mum actually told me this many years ago, and she could not have been more right. No matter the situation, whether it be a break up or choosing to go for something you’re not sure about- the gut is the key. Bit weird, I know. But if something doesn’t feel right, that gut of yours knows what’s best for you! Your gut instinct is intuition, the innate wisdom we all possess. Your body is telling you something, so go with it!
  2. Go with the flow. When I had trouble with anxiety I found it so hard to live in the moment. It was hard to focus on the present, when I was so busy worrying about the future. But now the present is all I focus on. It’s so important to be accepting of past experiences to make way for the your experiences right here, right now. Don’t hold those grudges, accept what is and I’m pretty sure your future will go in the path it’s supposed to. Go with the flow of each day ❤
  3. Think good things & good things will come back to you. This lesson I’ve learned through my years of University. This principle is also in effect of being kind and kind things will be returned. Whatever you put out into the world, will come back to you in abundance. I’ve had such a good year all because of my attitude towards it. I’ve had opportunities I never thought I’d have, but it’s all about how you view the world and be within it. Don’t be a dingbat and hate the world, you’re capable of such amazing things! So show the world that you are and look what will be returned.
  4. If you do not ask, you shall not receive. The opportunities I have had with design, my academic work and all my other endeavours is all down to just going for it. If I hadn’t have thought to email To Write Love On Her Arms about what I want to do with Keep Real- would I have ever dreamed of the reply I got? No. They said ‘We are very inspired that you want to help people because you know how hard it is to ask for help. We love your heart and your enthusiasm for mental health and we want to commend you for starting your own business, Keep Real.’ I’m glad I just thought to email them. Yeah, sometimes you won’t get replies or responses you want from asking, but the whole point is to just go for it (or as Shia LeBeouf tells us to JUST DO IT).
  5. Believe in yourself. The last lesson I think is highly important. It ties in with quite a few of my lessons learned. But holy moly is this one crucial! If I didn’t believe in myself, I would not have started Keep Real, gone to University, applied for the jobs I now have or designed for the people I have. Be confident in your abilities! Noticing your weaknesses are your strengths! Check out my post of my favourite quotes here for a bit of posi inspo. If ya start believin’, you’ll start achievin’.

Do you have any lessons you have learned over the years that have stuck with you? I’d love to hear your comments! ❤

Be Radiant!!

You were given life; it is your duty to find something beautiful within it, no matter how slight. – Elizabeth Gilbert

I have always believed if you radiate good vibes and treat yourself and others with kindness, good things will always find their way back to you. I guess you could call it karma, the principle of causality. It flows with the same principle as motivation in a way. How would you know you’d be good at something if you have never put yourself out there? Without action, there is no consequence- good or bad. Now what kind of life is that?! It’s safe and it’s in the comfort zone. If you’re happy with it, then that’s all cool. But if you have aspirations and dreams that you aint fulfilling, you need to get off that pretty little bum and do something about it!

Be good, stay well and forever keep real ❤

Thousands of candles can be lighted from a single candle, and the life of the candle will not be shortened. Happiness never decreases by being shared- Buddha