A Reflection on Being Butt-hurt.

Hey folks! I hope you’re having a wonderful weekend so far!

As a lil’ lady who is continuously learning about herself, it’s extremely hard to discuss topics that I’m still, well, learning about! It’s soul- baring, and I feel all vulnerable discussing it. I’d like to think I’m self aware, or at least know my own strengths and weaknesses in every day terms, but in a perspective concerning relationships- it’s still something that is developing all the time.

I pride myself on my independence, and being comfortable in my own skin. Which is very true indeed! As some of you know, I was a bundle of nerves and my anxiety was at it’s highest in college years. In other articles/posts, I have stated that it affected my Screen Shot 2016-04-17 at 14.56.11relationships, which it definitely did. I look back at that time now, and think how much of a different person I am now. I’m unashamed of my easy going attitude towards everything, I’m confident and chilled out in a mushy-cool combination (or at least I’d like to think so!), I go with the flow- if a guy comes along that I really like, sweet! If not, that’s cool too- because what will happen, will happen ❤ However it has been a slight downfall in relationships where my kindness/ easy going attitude has been taken for granted, or really taken advantage of. And that’s my reflection. It aint cool. It’s not 100% ‘rejection’, its someone manipulating the good within you for selfish reasons. I was butt hurt, and it succkkkkeedd. It hurt my lil’ soul.

Everyone has a fear of rejection/ feelings not returned, but it’s how you deal with it that determines the overall outcome. Learn from it, grow- but also let yourself feel! This has been on my mind from the experience. When someone betrays your trust, or plays on your personality, it flippin sucks. It sucks big time, no matter the circumstance. It’s alright to rationalise an experience by saying ‘some people are not meant to be in your life’ and ‘hurt people, hurt people’ (which are all very true sayings), you have to let yourself feel hurt. This, in my very personal experience, is something I’ve been working on. It feels uncomfortable and has a weird feeling in your stomach, but it’s so important to experience it (Psychologies has a great article about coming back from rejection here). It’s left me a little guarded as a person lately, but I’m taking it within my stride. We’re not all perfect people, it’s taken me a while to admit this butt-hurt. I’m still rolling with the punches and slaying my way through each week the best I can!

Remember, you’re growing as a human being every day. Every day. Sometimes, things don’t go the way you planned, and you have to be very mindful of your actions and reactions. Be gentle, be kind, be yourself. As much as being butt-hurt sucks, don’t react with anger or hate. Take a step back and remember your self worth, and treat the situation with as much goodness as you can. But also stand up for yourself too! ❤ You will come out of a bad experience with more perspective, ready to go with the flow of the world that awaits!

Anyway sweetpeas, I will leave it there ❤ sending all my love to you all!

 

 

 

 

 

Self Awareness & Development

Hey y’all. Hope you’re enjoying your weekend so far! I wanted to share with you my thoughts on self awareness, as I think it’s very important to everyones wellbeing. We studied ‘the self’ quite extensively in my Counselling degree; and self development is atumblr_n52j4gnAML1r5gmiko1_500 major learning journey. Not just for those wishing to become helpers, counsellors or therapists- but for any beautiful being in this world. You wanna know more about yourself? Well here’s a little how-to and a bit of know-how, from my tiny point of view. (If this triggers anything for you, or you find this a little daunting at all, please go to my page of helplines who are there to talk whenever you wish) ❤

“Self-awareness is a continuing process of improvement, not arriving at a given state of awareness.”

This quote is sooooo important. Many folk who are trying to learn about themselves more, or reach this ‘enlightenment’ will find that they will never obtain this state of being. It is a continuous and ever evolving process. How cool is that though!? That we are continuously evolving as human beings, growing and developing! However, when people think of ‘self awareness’ this misconception is where folk go wrong. Because it’s not about achieving, it’s all about the process. It shouldn’t be rushed or forced, but a cool part of being you. Enjoy what’s going on! Learn and growwww. It may feel weird, but it’s rad to know more about who you are. From the weird and quirky, to the assertive and sweet. There is no wrong answer, because we are who we are. Rock it!

Although we feel most at risk when we contemplate baring our soul to others, it is, paradoxically, from the genuine responses of others that we stand to learn something about ourselves.

We have to feel safe when we expose ourselves for all we are. Fears, dreams, values, attitudes, even our sexuality. Have you ever had it where someone has pointed out a mannerism, flaw or a positive thing about you- that you didn’t really notice about yourself? I remember something as small as someone pointing out I use my hands a lot when I talk to or when I’m in conversation. This is a form of self-awareness, and people around you can help you there. I must reiterate, that we need to feel safe and trust those around us, feel mega comfortable. We don’t have to do self-exploration with others, in small groups or in a pair- we can do this by ourselves too. Write some things down. We have to be honest with ourselves. Be kind to yourself first my dear!! ❤262005_947454b3639547eda1d2775e6a535fdb

Ask yourself some questions first. It can be a little scary or even daunting to ask yourself some questions, but do not rush. A greater understanding of yourself is a wonderful thing ❤  for examplleeee

  • Are you satisfied with being who you are?
  • Are you comfortable with the age you are now?
  • What are your fundamental beliefs? How did you acquire them?
  • What life experiences are significant for you and why?

Be gentle with yourself, and take care ❤

Mental Health Is A Part Of Us All- Yes, Us All!

We have physical health, and we have mental health. It should be quite simple, right? Well, it feels like common sense- that our health is us as a whole, that we need to take care of our bodies and minds as one. Then how come mental health isn’t spoken about as much? Sometimes our mental health even comes with physical symptoms. Chest pains, loss of appetite, migraines, fatigue etc. It’s all linked, and our mind controls everything too! Ever get a tummy pain or a headache, and the more you think about how much it hurts- the more you feel it hurting somehow? When we focus on our pains or aches with our thoughts, the more our pains and aches control our thinking, our ability to concentrate and even our mobility as a person. Well, it all loops back to our thoughts and our mental state. This is our mental health. Whether you know it or not, you have mental health. Just like we all breathe in oxygen, have bones, skin, as well as blood flowing through our veins. It’s a part of us, and we have to take care of it.

Having a healthy mind is just as important as a health body

The next time you see someone in the street, or on their way to work, even in your workplace- just remember they have mental health. We aaallll have mental health! You are not alone, we all go through something- and you deserve to be ok. Every single person on this big huge rock we call our home has a mental state, even if we don’t talk about it. Our health is part of us all, whether we can see it or not.

Take care of yourself you, and keep real!

A list of helplines are on my blog, and if you feel you’d like to read more on mental health, type ‘mental health’ into the search bar ❤

The Art of Happiness

Here’s a quote I wanted to share with you from the Dalai Lama. Hope you all have a wonderful day! ❤

“Sometimes when I meet old friends, it reminds me how quickly time passes. And it makes me wonder if we’ve utilized our time properly or not. Proper utilization of time is so important. While we have this body, and especially this amazing human brain, I think every minute is something precious. Our day-to-day existence is very much alive with hope, although there is no guarantee of our future. There is no guarantee that tomorrow at this time we will be here. But we are working for that purely on the basis of hope. So, we need to make the best use of our time. I believe that the proper utilization of time is this: if you can, serve other people, other sentient beings. If not, at least refrain from harming them. I think that is the whole basis of my philosophy.

So, let us reflect what is truly of value in life, what gives meaning to our lives, and set our priorities on the basis of that. The purpose of our life needs to be positive. We weren’t born with the purpose of causing trouble, harming others. For our life to be of value, I think we must develop basic good human qualities—warmth, kindness, compassion. Then our life becomes meaningful and more peaceful—happier.”

How Do I Stay Content With What I Have?

Good Morning my lovelies! How are you? Today I thought to do a post on being content. I think sometimes all we need is to feel good with the things we have and how we feel right now, rather than striving for this happiness we see, but cannot reach. This is a nod towards our consumerist culture, as we feel we need to obtain new shiny things, in order to having-it-allfeel that sense of content. Happiness comes from within my beauties! But we cannot help but feel like we could be that little bit happier if we achieved our goals, or bought that new bag from the autumn/winter collection…(As you can tell, I totally relate to this).

So how do we stay content with what we have? Here’s 3 things to think about.

  • Try not to compare yourself to what others have. What would happen if you had all the fortunes in the world? Would that make you feel happier? I very much doubt it. You have worked and earned your fortunes with an honest heart, and you can buy whatever you wish with it. You don’t have to ‘keep up with the Jones” as the saying goes.
  • Be in the moment. Think about what you have and what you’re grateful for. Where are you sitting or standing right now? You’re in this moment, reading this post! Life is happening now, so have a little think about what got you here.
  • Love your job/career path. No matter how much you earn, or how much you feel like you’re not on the right path in your career, if you love your job- then why would you change it? Being content in your job or career is the perfect way in staying content. Find something that interests you and it will make you feel so flippin’ good! Ask yourself some questions about your career or job choice. Maybe you’ll have to accept the fact that a job with less pay comes with greater fulfilment.

❤ much love folks, and as always- keep real! x

#ElleInspire

wpid-img_20150907_215747.jpgHello beauties! How you all doing? Today, I thought to review some of my favourite #ElleInspire articles so far. I’m an avid reader and subscriber to Elle Magazine here in England, and what I love most are the #ElleInspire articles in there (and of course, the fashion!)- it gives the readers a wonderful sense of empowerment, with an authentic look at self esteem and confidence in women. It aint’ just a fashion magazine. Elle is a wonderful monthly read for not only the fashion forward, but forward thinkers too.

Throughout the year, we’ve seen movements in feminism, sexuality and gay marriage. 2015 has definitely been the year for shifting the world in an era of openness and change. We’ve seen the HeForShe Campaign fronted by the beautiful Emma Watson forELLE-UK-May-2015-Cover-Rebel-Wilson-Main gender equality, Gay Marriage being legalised nationwide in the US plus legalisation in Ireland, and the sexuality movement of ‘fluidity’ and the rejection of labels. What an age to be living in huh?!

February’s issue of Elle noted Elizabeth Palmer as ‘Woman of the Month’, recognising her as an inspirational Journalist who has covered nearly every major conflict zone in Europe and the Middle East. She tells readers to follow their natural ability, and shares her story of not having a definite road. It inspires, and she is a perfect example of ambition and making your own luck. You can do it too!

May’s issue of Elle fronted the ever wonderful Rebel Wilson with the hashtag #BeMoreRebel frontier. An intelligent, body confident woman who is ridiculously funny. Now who wouldn’t want her on the front page?! She has worked her butt off to get to where she wants be (with a Degree in Law & Arts and a former Rotary International Youth Ambassador for Australia) and there aint no stopping her! Like Elle quotes, ‘She is proof that hard work pays off and proof that once you find your voice, you can keep it and make it work for you.’

June’s issue of Elle noted Elaine West as ‘Woman of the Month’, who is the first woman to be promoted to the rank of Air Vice-Marshal, the most senior ranking female officer in the British Armed Forces. Her interview is a lovely one to read, that when things don’t go your way, move forward and learn from your experiences. She worked her way through the ranks, having been in 19 different roles throughout her career and kept going ❤

October’s issue of Elle fronts Miley Cyrus, and the exploration of sexuality and ‘gender fluidity’. It alsojIyfRftH has a beautiful spread of ’30 smart women under 30′. Now, it aint just the academically smart, it’s the downright empowering- women are out there getting to where they want to be and from all various backgrounds and childhoods. You, yes you, are the same. YOU can achieve whatever you dream, inspire and create. If you truly want it, you can go and get it ❤ It’s ok to doubt yourself, it’s natural to feel overwhelmed or afraid. But if you want it, make it happen.

2015 has been an incredible year for women, and for everyone so far. What a beautiful and moving year, and so many months ahead that could bring such joy to the world! Even though sometimes when you read these magazines, it is so easy to say ‘I wish I could be like that’, ‘I wish I was her’ and ‘Why don’t I look like that?’. However, there are such lovely articles in there saying to women all over the world ‘Stop comparing yourself to the pages, because being you is inspiring in itself and you can be whatever you want to be’.

I think we need more of that in this world. When we start comparing, we get so caught up in it and steals all our self-worth. You are beautiful…yes I’m talking to you! Be kind to yourself and do your own thaang. I believe in you.

Mental Wellness Essentials #2

Hello you! I hope the week so far has been good to you! It’s the middle of the week (or there abouts!), so here’s some mental wellness essentials to get you through ❤

Sometimes the beginning of the week can mega drag. First day back to work or whatever you’re getting up to, has that feel about it- you just wish for a day in bed! Keep that head up you, it’s gonna be ok ❤

Let’s start with some little tips to maintain your flow for the week.

  • Eat well – Food, as tasty as it comes- can improve how you feel! I’m not telling you knock back some weird tea, only eat salad or buy organic; eating well does have it’s benefits. The more colour with your meals, the better. Takeaways and quick microwave meals are, let’s face it, the lazy way to fill that lovely tummy of yours. Try get out of the habit and go for something new. If you fancy cooking up a quick little storm, I suggest signing up to ‘Thug Kitchen’- great recipes via email…and vegan too! Find some recipes here.
  • Ask for help – It feels tricky to admit that you might need a hand, but there is no harm in it. wpid-img_20150805_201214.jpgIf you do not ask, you shall not receive. It’s as simple as that. Pluck up the courage to seek some guidance or ask a friend for help. Take a well deserved break and ring up a loved one to have a chat.
  • Be a lil’ bit selfish! – You’re here, you’re breathing- it’s your life and you can do whatever you wish with it! Eat that bar of chocolate…go on! Do something for yourself out of your day. It doesn’t just have to be work, eat, sleep and repeat. Catch that film you wanna see, ask a friend out for a drink- do what makes you happy. You can spread that happiness with others too ❤ take that break!
  • Meditate – Some may think it’s quite the hippy thing to do, and over-think the whole meditation/ mindfulness way of relaxation, but taking 10 minutes out of your day to focus on yourself, can really improve how you feel about your day. Sit comfortably, relax your body and place your hands where you feel is natural. Close your eyes, count your breath in ‘1’ and breath out ‘2’- right up to 10. Repeat this and just notice what’s going on for you in your body. Slight headache? Bit of tension in your shoulders? Whatever it is, just notice it. Be gentle with yourself. Sometimes your body tells you things when you are a bit stressed. Listen to body. 

❤ as always, keep real and be kind to yourself .

Rad Lessons Learned (so far)

Hello lovely followers, hope you are well! I thought I’d do a cool little post on reflections and (if I can) give you insight into some advice or lessons I have learned over the course of my experiences. I can pinpoint every single lesson and whatwpid-img_20150720_122637.jpg each meant to me at the time. I’d go far as to say the lessons I have learned are pivotal in the experiences I have now!

  1. Trust your gut. Now this one for me is ridiculously accurate. My mum actually told me this many years ago, and she could not have been more right. No matter the situation, whether it be a break up or choosing to go for something you’re not sure about- the gut is the key. Bit weird, I know. But if something doesn’t feel right, that gut of yours knows what’s best for you! Your gut instinct is intuition, the innate wisdom we all possess. Your body is telling you something, so go with it!
  2. Go with the flow. When I had trouble with anxiety I found it so hard to live in the moment. It was hard to focus on the present, when I was so busy worrying about the future. But now the present is all I focus on. It’s so important to be accepting of past experiences to make way for the your experiences right here, right now. Don’t hold those grudges, accept what is and I’m pretty sure your future will go in the path it’s supposed to. Go with the flow of each day ❤
  3. Think good things & good things will come back to you. This lesson I’ve learned through my years of University. This principle is also in effect of being kind and kind things will be returned. Whatever you put out into the world, will come back to you in abundance. I’ve had such a good year all because of my attitude towards it. I’ve had opportunities I never thought I’d have, but it’s all about how you view the world and be within it. Don’t be a dingbat and hate the world, you’re capable of such amazing things! So show the world that you are and look what will be returned.
  4. If you do not ask, you shall not receive. The opportunities I have had with design, my academic work and all my other endeavours is all down to just going for it. If I hadn’t have thought to email To Write Love On Her Arms about what I want to do with Keep Real- would I have ever dreamed of the reply I got? No. They said ‘We are very inspired that you want to help people because you know how hard it is to ask for help. We love your heart and your enthusiasm for mental health and we want to commend you for starting your own business, Keep Real.’ I’m glad I just thought to email them. Yeah, sometimes you won’t get replies or responses you want from asking, but the whole point is to just go for it (or as Shia LeBeouf tells us to JUST DO IT).
  5. Believe in yourself. The last lesson I think is highly important. It ties in with quite a few of my lessons learned. But holy moly is this one crucial! If I didn’t believe in myself, I would not have started Keep Real, gone to University, applied for the jobs I now have or designed for the people I have. Be confident in your abilities! Noticing your weaknesses are your strengths! Check out my post of my favourite quotes here for a bit of posi inspo. If ya start believin’, you’ll start achievin’.

Do you have any lessons you have learned over the years that have stuck with you? I’d love to hear your comments! ❤

Keepin’ Up With Kimberley #5

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working on a commission this week!

Hello lovelies! Man it’s been a crazy week. I have just one week left until I move out of Huddersfield to go back home after the University life!

I’ve been working on a real cool commission for a living room piece (pictured). It’s right up my alley with the whole botanical/mandala vibes going on. It’s become more intricate than I initially thought, but I cannot wait to finish it! Soooo many detailllsss!

There’s so much to look forward to, I have my 21st coming up near the beginning of July then I have my graduation! It only hit me yesterday I don’t have much time left. Student life over- now I gotta get ready for new beginnings!

Speaking of new beginnings, I want to congratulate my dear friend Ayshe- who got ENGAGED this week!!! I can’t believe she will be getting married! I wish her all the wpid-img_20150617_181808.jpghappiness in the world- it was lovely to hang out and catch up after quite a while ❤

This week has ended up being quite an emotional one for me. It’s a fairly overwhelming experience to finish my degree in Counselling Therapy and move onwards. Looking back into the year with working two jobs, finishing a degree, working on Keep Real amongst other things all at the same time, it’s just unbelievable how far I’ve come personally. I work hard to get by, to follow my passions alongside a degree and two jobs. I have become more resilient and determined to get where I want to be.

There is so much more to explore and do! I cannot wait to share with you more adventures and happenings with Keep Real!

So much love to you all ❤

Awareness

Afternoon my lovelies! I’m currently on one of the trains from Yorkshire heading to Cambridge. I’m feeling all sorts of content! I didn’t bring with me any forms of distraction, apart from my leatherbound notebook which I’m writing in. Blatant content watching the world go by. It feels so good to be aware of my surroundings and to wholly appreciate where I’m heading.
It’s a wonderful sense of humanity in a way, to not feel the need to be distracted by technology to make the time pass.
Life is happening now!!
Notice your distractions & be aware of what could potentially be passing you by ❤